You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
