I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Every concussion has its silver lining
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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