I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
