So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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