I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
