Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
