So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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