I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
