Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
