Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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