lets start a swedish sibling band together
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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