I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize