drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
