I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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