how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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