wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
