he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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