i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
