Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
