sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
