Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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