Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
