hotel room ftw
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
