it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
