as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
