What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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