now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's rum buckets o'clock
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
