I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
