I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
