i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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