hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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