you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
