dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
