How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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