Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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