I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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