u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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