Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
