oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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