He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
