OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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