she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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