At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize