Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
