I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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