The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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