it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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