I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
