I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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