She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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