i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
