..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
