he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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