We're like a lot better than the average bears
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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