I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Too much gin, very little bucket
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
