he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
