How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize