Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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