I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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