I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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