Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
