Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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